It’s OK to feel completely devastated

It’s OK to hide away from well-meaning family and friends and give yourself space to process

and grieve your loss. You have not only lost your baby but also all the hopes and dreams that

you had for them.

It’s OK to be jealous of anyone who has a baby or announces a new pregnancy

It’s OK to have days where you cry, even a few months after the miscarriage

It’s OK to feel temporarily disconnected from your other children

It’s OK to grieve differently to your partner

It’s OK to get ridiculously angry for no reason at all

It’s OK to feel like you need to control every other aspect of your life

It’s OK to question why this happened to you

It’s OK to lose your confidence in other areas of your life

It’s OK to feel like a failure as a woman

It’s OK to believe that you will never have a baby

It’s OK to be obsessed with conceiving another baby

It’s OK to never want to try and have another baby

It’s OK to want to obsessively hold and cuddle other people’s babies

It’s OK to not want to even look at anyone else’s baby

It’s OK to want someone to guarantee that it will never happen again

It’s OK to feel completely out of control when no-one can do this

It’s OK to feel none of the above and to move on from the experience with little effect to your life


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Contributed by Terry Diamond, Perinatal Bereavement Counsellor, Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs. 2016